When you SUCK at life….

A few years ago when I decided I wanted to start doing part of my business online, and I knew that I wanted a big part of it to be about “self love”, I knew that I had my work cut out for me.

I needed to learn how to love myself just as much if not more than anyone!

I’m gonna get very real with you for a minute.  Being vulnerable is hard for me, but I think what I have to say might help you so I’m taking one for the team. 😊

I can be very mean.  I am a 🔥 fiery Sagittarius after all.

I have VERY high standards for the people around me (just ask my poor husband), and even higher standards for myself.

Like impossibly high.  Standards that no human could possibly live up to.  So I let myself down all the time.  And I have had a pretty nasty habit of telling myself how much I SUCK.

Here are some things I’ve said to myself …

You are a terrible mother. You’re always forgetting stuff your kid needs. Look around, everyone else is a better mother than you. You can’t get anything right.”  

“Your house is a mess, your car is a mess your whole life is a mess.  Why can’t you just get your S#@t together?  What is WRONG with you?  You SUCK at everything!”

“No one wants to hear what you have to say, why do you even bother.  You’re a disaster how could you possibly help anyone else….”

 

Ok you get the point.  I have been so mean to myself….

Do you ever do that?

In the past three years I have read books, taken classes (I’m even in the process of creating my own course) and I’ve studied pretty hard all about self love.

I know quite a bit about how to do it now, but I still get it wrong.  I have this pattern of negative self talk pretty deeply ingrained in me.  Maybe you do to.

But now I have some tools and practices that can help BREAK this nasty cycle, and that’s what I want to share with you today.  Just incase you ever get caught in the “not enough-ness ” and catch yourself being super mean to yourself.

Self love is a daily practice. 

It is not something you learn how to do and then move on to the next thing. It is something you have to implement on a daily basis.  And it takes lots and lots of practice.

The more you do it the easier it becomes.

I’m not saying that I don’t still tell myself nasty things at times, but the difference now, is that I can catch myself and stop a lot faster than I used to.

So here’s what I want you to know and start to practice:

Stop and notice what you’re doing.

Just acknowledge that you are upset.  It’s ok to be upset.  If you need to cry, then do it!  Let your emotions be ok.  Don’t try to stop them.

Next, think about what you need right now, and then, here’s the important part, GIVE it to yourself!

Maybe you need a nap, maybe you need a break, maybe you need a massage, or to go for a walk… stop and think about what would make you feel better and then actually do it!  Even if it means asking for help!

Speak more kindly to yourself:

Imagine a friend is having a bad day and feeling like she sucks at life, what would you say to her?  Would you tell her, “yeah you’re right you really suck” or would you give her a big ol’ hug and tell her how amazing she is.  Wouldn’t you bend over backward to try and cheer her up?  Wouldn’t you say something more like “Sweet girl, you’ve been working so hard, give yourself a break!  You are so amazing and it’s ok that you screwed up.  We ALL screw up sometimes.  You are not alone in this”.

YOUR HOMEWORK:

Bookmark this post and the next time you’re feeling overwhelmed and like you might suck at life, I want you to pull it up and try at least one of the things I’ve shared here.

I’m not saying that I don’t ever get down on myself and I’m certainly not always perfect in this practice, but it has been such a help to me to have some tools to turn to when I need them.

Just remember, it’s not an over night process, it’ s a life long practice, but what I’ve shared here has helped me so much and I know it can help you too!

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